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Or maybe you can take the long route home and drive by your old school, your place of employment, your uncle’s pizza shop, or the closed-down theater where you saw “Swan Lake” when you were a little girl and your dream of attending the Juilliard began.

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CFL is like a tidal wave of American men in love with Chinese women, with only a rare American woman/Chinese husband surfacing to break the monotony. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: “If you’re going to study abroad, prepare for four lonely years.” The underlying message was, don’t expect to fall in love — but be pleasantly surprised if it happens.

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It is important that you do not act like a dick about this and that you are extra-awesome to me after shows. I'm super-loyal and eerily dependable, but if I need to rehearse or record or do a photo session in an abandoned saloon somewhere, that's going to be more important than watching and honestly I'm not sure I ever will.

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Action takes place in a private room or private curtained-off cubicle. Some motivated girls have been known to provide off-the-menu FS.

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