If you’ve got an imagination, cook up your own team name.If nothing solid came to mind, you probably decided to search for some answers.Ever notice how some professional sports nicknames are absolutely terrible? The Pistons got it right with the car theme but the Tigers and Lions botched it. Pelicans: Actually, surprisingly, this name isn’t terrible. When you think of the Big Easy, you can’t help but think of the French Quarter and people rocking out to a saxophone outside with Mardi Gras beads and hurricanes. My friend from Utah also suggested the Utah Red Rocks and I like that too. Utah Jazz would be the most embarrassingly bad name for an NBA franchise if it wasn’t for the….. What is wrong with the people in DC that they don’t know how to capitalize on being the capital? The city’s sports teams should have coordinated red, white and blue uniforms across all sports, much the same way all the Pittsburgh teams are black and yellow.Above all else that nickname defines a team–it’s on the jerseys, the merchandise, the letterhead; it’s how the team is known–yet some organizations insist on perpetuating monikers that are mediocre, generic, uninspired, or, worse, offensive. Why circus animals in the industrial center of the US? It’s regionally specific (the state bird of Louisiana is the Pelican) and that’s refreshing in today’s NBA. Coupled with the Saints, the Jazz would give NOLA two incredibly specific and exceptionally well-fitting team names. The New Orleans Jazz existed from 1974-1979 before moving to Utah. ‘Jazz’ needs to be returned to its rightful home and the Utah basketball team needs to come up with something new. The Nationals in baseball, the Admirals in football (see above), the Capitals in hockey, and the Senators in basketball. Honorable Mentions: Clippers (Quakes), Nets (Bridges), Warriors (Presidios). Rangers: What does a ranger have to do with New York? They could make the colors navy and white to fit in with the Yankees or black and white to go with the Nets/Bridges.We’ve already sifted through the boring and bland names to bring you the best of the best.Now ask yourself: Do I have a team full of elite athletes who would appreciate badass flag football team names that strike fear in the mind’s of our opponents?
Bring your soccer team together with the perfect team name. Ultimately, it’s up to you to have some fun with picking a name. Most importantly, remember, whether giving your team a funny flag football team name or an intimidating name, this will not win any championships. You won’t see this represented in the list below, but one that you might have noticed in leagues you’ve played in the past, are the team names from squad’s who are sponsored.It’s not uncommon that a local business, or even a national sponsor, would at least cover the cost of tee shirt printing in order to have the name of their organization appear across the chest of your team’s jerseys.The Native American thing is a little played out though and we can do better. Atlanta has the busiest airport in the whole world. I’m not that familiar with Toronto so I don’t know what would be a better option but I have no doubt there are some better choices with more character. There are lots of great patriotic, government, or military themed name choices. Instead, I played off the Great Lakes thing and went with the Cleveland Tankers. The worst part is that Detroit has such a good name theme already in place. It was really difficult to pick just 5 to discuss, mostly because there were so many that were hard to justify leaving out.Each major sport–baseball, football, basketball, and even hockey–has myriad examples of teams that should ditch their current nicknames and adopt a new, better one. Since going team by team through the hundred some odd pro sports franchises in America is a bit of a logistical challenge, I’ve pared the list down to the 5 most egregious instances of nickname abuse in each sport. Isn’t it kind of disrespecting your city if you think that the potential names from that place are so bad that you have to pick one from halfway around the globe? The thing is, the New Orleans basketball team has the potential to have one of the best names in all of sports: the New Orleans Jazz. You know what Utah has a lot of (other than Mormons)? Generals is a tempting name but it has such a long and storied history of losing- the Generals went 6 – 13,000 between 19 playing the Harlem Globetrotters every night (including multiple 3,000 game losing streaks). Raptors: Any team named after Jurassic Park must get a new name immediately. [button color=”blue” link=””]NHL[/button] Before I begin I want to make clear that Columbus Blue Jackets is a cool name. I guess your opinion of it depends a little on what you think of non-S names in general but I think Minnesota could do much better. Apparently, the guy who owned the team a while back was named Tex and they called the team Tex’s Rangers and the name stuck. There’s potential here but one poorly named red, white, and blue team in New York is silly.What follows is a team by team breakdown of why the current nickname has to go and a proposal for a better option. I have a strong preference towards regionally relevant nicknames. Just gotta keep Joe Arpaio from sullying the name and we’re good to go. Cincinnati is home to the first full time fire department in the US. What in the world does Wizards have to do with Washington? The Raptors held a fan vote to determine the new team’s name and ‘Raptors’ won in the wake of the movie’s popularity. There are two main problems with the name ‘Raptors’: 1) How does Canada’s only basketball team have such a generic name? Canada-specific, cool, and the mascot could be a beaver dribbling a ball or something. The Lakers have a long and storied history as the Lakers and are basketball’s premiere franchise. It’s nearly impossible to come up with a name to rival the cache of Los Angeles Lakers but I’ll give it a shot. The California Condor is a very cool, intimating, location-specific bird and would make a cool nickname. No, a blue jacket isn’t going to instill fear in the heart of your opponent but it’s got a Civil War thing going on and I like it. Predators: A case of intimidation factor washing out regional relevance.There’s got to be a cool flight or airport/line/plane thing that could be done there. ‘The 2015 Ford Mustang, official car of Detroit Mustangs baseball.” It’s cool. I came up with the Jets which is admittedly unoriginal and terrible but I think I’m on the right track.